I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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