I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
