Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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