I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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