i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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