Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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