he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
