is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
