I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
