there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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