I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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