Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Pants are for mortals
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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