my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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