I am midnight drunk by noon
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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