that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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