3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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