That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
