Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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