I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
