remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
