She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
