I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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