at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
