Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
