My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
