They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
