I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
