4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
