i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
