Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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