gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
