ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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