A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
