btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
