This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
