If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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