I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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