she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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