yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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