How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
