I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
