He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
