the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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