Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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