Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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