it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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