I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
