I never want to see another naked old woman again.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
