Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
