What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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