Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
