i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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