why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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