I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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