Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
