she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Can you bring me the toilet please
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
